Q My ex-husband quickly remarried after our divorce. His children have seen him infrequently over the past five years. Recently, one of his sons went on vacation with his new family. My ex-husband sent me a photo album of their trip full of pictures of his new family. They're all smiling, lovey-dovey and clinking drinks in exotic locations. Yes, I admit I'm jealous I don't have all he has, but I also don't want it rubbed in my face. How should I handle this?

A Sending you this photo album seems so insensitive we have to think the guy temporarily lost his mind because it just seems so obvious it's in poor taste. We can't figure out his motivation short of trying to make you angry — and that seems like a big waste of time. Maybe he feels enough time has gone by you wouldn't be affected by pictures of his new family and you might want some great shots of your son. Trouble is, intermixed with the rest, it's very bad ex-etiquette.

We believe a phone call is in order. Be civil and thank him for the album, but explain you really have no use for pictures of his new family and wonder why he sent them. If he tells you something logical that justifies his insensitivity (not sure what it could be, but you never know), don't get worked up — it's not going to make any difference; he has moved on. Ask if he has sent the same shots to your son. If he has not, let him know there is no need to send you photos in the future and you will be forwarding the album to

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your son. If he has already sent your son the pictures, tell him you would like to keep the shots of your son, but the rest you would like to return to him. If he doesn't want them returned, offer them to your son or toss them. No need to tell your ex you are going to throw them out. That will be perceived as sour grapes.

Following the rules of good ex-etiquette, remember, don't vent or discuss dad's insensitivity with your kids. Your son will understand your frustration when you ask him if Dad happened to send the photo album to him as well. A really important component to dealing with jealousy? Remembering the best revenge is to move past the breakup aftermath and have a happy life.

Jann Blackstone-Ford and her husband's ex-wife, Sharyl Jupe, authors of "Ex-Etiquette for Parents," are the founders of Bonus Families (bonusfamilies.com). Reach them at ee@bonusfamilies.com.