Font ResizeQ You two are my role models! My husband and I moved four hours away from the ex. The order states transportation by bus but the kids didn't like it so we agreed to meet halfway. She's always late by an hour or more. It's frustrating to drive two hours, then wait. We've talked to her about the importance of being on time, but no change. I feel like it's done on purpose. Your advice?
A We thank you for your kind words. So as your role models, please let us point out that we think something may be lacking in your approach — and that's empathy. It might help you to understand what's going on if you put yourself in her place and she does the same.
We wouldn't be surprised if she is late on purpose — and if she is, it's probably because she's angry that Dad moved away. The most common feeling is "He (or she) was the one who chose to move. Why do I have to drive two hours to compensate him?" And being late is a not-so-subtle reminder of how unhappy she is that the rules were changed midstream without her consent. In other words, like so many things about which divorced or separated parents argue, this is a control issue.
Both homes have to start putting the kids first. Put your heads together. What can both homes do to make this four-hour trip easier on the kids? It's not dragging your feet, whispering under your breath how you hate this drive or why is that woman always late. All of those comments, if overheard by the children (no matter their age),
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