Font Resize
The end of school is approaching, and with it come big changes in family schedules. Some parents are considering whether their child is old enough to be left home alone — for a few hours here and there or for whole days during the summer.
We got advice from Sandi Olson, an elementary school nurse who also teaches a home-alone class for kids and parents through the Rosemount, Apple Valley and Eagan school district's community-education program.
Q. How old should a child be before he or she can stay home alone?
A. In Dakota County, where I work, a child age 7 or younger staying home alone could be reported as a possible case of neglect. Children ages 8 and 9 should not be left alone more than two hours.
Q. How can parents know if their child is ready?
A. Notice how your child handles different situations. Is she able to take care of herself? If your child is hungry, can he get something to eat on his own? If she has a scrape or cut, does she need you or does she go wash it off and find a Band-Aid?
Can your child solve problems on his own? For example, if he forgets his key, would he panic or would he feel comfortable going to a safe neighbor's house.
Does
Q. Are there things a parent should do to prepare a child for being home alone?
A. You want to make sure your child has some concrete skills.
I tell parents to get a first-aid kit together with Band-Aids and wipes and then practice. The next time your child gets a bump or a scratch, watch her take care of the cut and see how she does. Then, gradually let her increase the range of what she can do.
Also, have your child make small meals. Include him when you fix a snack and show him where to find items.
You also want to know she can call a phone number. Can she dial your cell phone number?
Does he feel comfortable talking to adults? Let's say you're going to call out for pizza. Let him make the call and practice talking to the adult and giving the address. Leave a notebook by the phone with your address written in it and other emergency information.
Then, role-play emergencies. If there were a fire, what would we do? If there were a storm, where would we go? Practice getting out of the house with your children. I do that once a year with my kids.
Q. What are the unexpected emergencies parents overlook?
A. Does your child know what to do if the toilet overflows? If she can use a plunger, great. But she should also know how to turn off the water to the toilet. When I started teaching this class, I made a point of looking at my own toilet, and it was rusted shut. So, we had to fix that.
Q. Any tips for encouraging kids to steer clear of the chips and cookies?
A. If you talk about good snack ideas ahead of time, your child will be more likely to go for the fruit and other healthy stuff. I always have apples, oranges and bananas on hand. Cereal can be a good choice, too. It's easy and nutritious, especially whole-grain cereal. I also stock a little snack drawer with fruit cups and pudding cups and granola bars.
Q. What are your phone-answering rules?
A. Some parents tell their child to never answer the house phone. Some who have caller ID allow their child to answer the phone if he recognizes the name or number. But that can create problems, too. Let's say your cell phone dies and you try to reach your child from a different number.
If you do let your child answer the phone, teach your child what to say. If someone asks for Mom or Dad, practice having her say, "They're not available" or "They can't come to the phone right now." That's the truth; you're not teaching your child to lie.
Make sure your child understands he doesn't ever have to give his name or explain where his parents are or what his parents are doing. My kids used to say I was "indisposed," which made my friends laugh!
Have your child say, "May I take a message?" Then, if she does get a message, make sure she writes it down and gives it to you when you get home.
Also, tell your child if a caller makes him upset or gives him a nervous stomach, he should just hang up.
Q. How would you handle a house key?
A. You could have your child wear it as a necklace. Or pin it on the inside of her backpack with one of those stretchy bungee cords. Then, make sure you have her practice using it when you're around.
You also want a default plan. What happens if he forgets the key or loses it? Maybe a safe neighbor has a copy. Don't hide a key outside the house. Burglars know and look in those spots.
Q. What's a big worry parents have?
A. Parents are concerned about what their child is going to do to occupy his or her time. What we do in class is brainstorm activities. Parents and kids come up with a list of what to do: read, practice piano, play board games, watch TV, play Nintendo, etc.
What's great about making the list ahead of time is parents can approve activities or say, "No, this is not an approved activity without supervision."
Also, talk to your child about what chores he needs to get done. Maybe you tell him to do a fun activity and then do a chore. Or you might make a list of chores she needs to complete and then fun activities she can do.
Q. Anything else?
A. It's important to touch base. Sometimes, employers don't like your kids calling you at work, but you can always arrange a time to call and check in with them. Then have a family meeting and talk about what worked and what didn't work.
MinnMoms.com discussion: When is it OK to leave my child home alone? Weigh in this week at MinnMoms.com and get advice from school nurse Sandi Olson, who teaches a home-alone class for kids and parents through the Rosemount, Apple Valley and Eagan school district's community-education program. Submit your questions by 10 a.m. Wednesday and check back for Olson's answers. We're also looking for your advice and stories about leaving your child unsupervised. What works? What doesn't?
