Font ResizeYes, punishments can be fun.
Creativity expert, professor, father and former daycare provider Rustin Wolfe applies his scientific techniques to some of life's smallest - but most exasperating - problems every Tuesday at MinnMoms.com.
Here's one of his creative solutions:
Wag the dog
Behavior: A 2-year-old boy thought it was amusing to yank on his family dog's tail.
Problem: It's cruel to the animal and potentially dangerous to the boy. When asked to apologize to the dog and to pet it properly, the dog typically ended up being hit instead.
Solution: We wanted him to make up for his misdeeds, and hoped that, in doing so, he could begin to appreciate the dog's feelings, too.
Activity: We suggested having the boy, along with his parent, prepare a meal for the dog — nothing too complicated, but more than just pouring a bowl of food. While engaged in this food preparation, the parent discussed how much the dog would enjoy the meal, and the child began to get excited about doing something nice for the dog and became invested in the dog's happiness.
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Read last week's problem and solution in the MinnMoms.com Expert Advice archive. Who is Rustin Wolfe? Education: Rustin Wolfe is an Associate Professor in the Doctor of Education in Leadership program at St. Mary's University of Minnesota. He received his Ph.D. and M.A. in Psychology from the University of Chicago, where he worked under Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, author of "Flow" and "Creativity." Rustin received his B.A. from the University of Wisconsin - Madison, with a major in Sociology and an individual major titled "Divergent Thought and Behavior." Rustin is a certified facilitator in Creative Problem Solving.
Childcare experience: As an undergraduate, Rustin worked as the lead teacher of a before/after school program. He has coached children of elementary age through college.
A month after he began working in daycare, Rustin knew something had to change or he'd burn out. The bad behavior was getting to him. Despite his good intentions, the kids kept breaking the rules. And he came to dread discipline. So, that's precisely what he changed. Rustin decided to let go of the traditional time-out in favor of more creative punishments. He figured out how to - in a twisted sort of way - look forward to the next opportunity to come up with a novel consequence.
Rustin set up rules: the punishment had to be a logical consequence, it should try to undo the wrong that had been done, it should prioritize the facilitation of future behavior over punishing past behavior, and it shouldn't be intentionally boring.
Philosophy: Time-outs are for when we can't think of anything better. Every moment is a learning opportunity. Rustin challenges parents and caregivers - himself included - to ask themselves: How can we take advantage of the opportunities before us when a child misbehaves?
