Let's take a time-out from time-outs. Kids are going to test our limits - it's in their job description. But instead of dreading how to respond, parents can seize the opportunity to create activities that are educational and engaging.
Yes, punishments can be fun.
Creativity expert, professor, father and former daycare provider Rustin Wolfe applies his scientific techniques to some of life's smallest - but most exasperating - problems every Tuesday at MinnMoms.com.
Here's one of his creative solutions:
Masking tape as finish line
Behavior: At a daycare center with a very limited budget, on the very day we finally received a new roll of masking tape, a 9-year-old boy used it to create a finish line for his pretend races.
Problem: He ruined a roll of tape.
Solution: There was really no way for us to restore the tape, so the issue became: How could we make sure he understood just how much of a mess he had made?
Activity: Instead of having him stand in timeout to "think about what he'd done," we asked him to re-roll the masking tape. We were under no illusions that the tape would regain its utility, but the process of re-rolling took time and served as punishment, and provided a lesson on how difficult it was to undo what he had done. It must have stuck because we never had that problem again.
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Childcare experience: As an undergraduate, Rustin worked as the lead teacher of a before/after school program. He has coached children of elementary age through college.
A month after he began working in daycare, Rustin knew something had to change or he'd burn out. The bad behavior was getting to him. Despite his good intentions, the kids kept breaking the rules. And he came to dread discipline.
So, that's precisely what he changed. Rustin decided to let go of the traditional time-out in favor of more creative punishments. He figured out how to - in a twisted sort of way - look forward to the next opportunity to come up with a novel consequence.
Rustin set up rules: the punishment had to be a logical consequence, it should try to undo the wrong that had been done, it should prioritize the facilitation of future behavior over punishing past behavior, and it shouldn't be intentionally boring.
Philosophy: Time-outs are for when we can't think of anything better. Every moment is a learning opportunity. Rustin challenges parents and caregivers - himself included - to ask themselves: How can we take advantage of the opportunities before us when a child misbehaves?
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