Let's take a time-out from time-outs. Kids are going to test our limits - it's in their job description. But instead of dreading how to respond, parents can seize the opportunity to create activities that are educational and engaging.

Yes, punishments can be fun.

Creativity expert, professor, father and former daycare provider Rustin Wolfe applies his scientific techniques to some of life's smallest - but most exasperating - problems every Tuesday at MinnMoms.com.

Here's one of his creative solutions:

Question: What do I do to stop my firstborn child from acting up when I give birth to my second one?.

Behavior: The firstborn child's behavior is regressing even before the second one arrives.

Problem: He's stressing you out just when you thought you finally had his behavior under control.

Solution: Life as he knows it is about to implode. He needs to know how important he will remain. His misbehavior is a plea for attention and a common response. Minimize the attention you give to his negative behavior, and maximize the attention you give to his positive behavior.

Activity: Try to engage the first-born in the preparations for the new one. Get him invested. Are there errands he can assist with, onesies he can pick out, toys he can hand down, boxes he can move, or bubble wrap he can pop? When my second son was born, we anticipated a lot of photographs being taken, so we presented our first son with a toy camera when he


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arrived at the hospital - that way he could participate instead of feeling left out. Today, you can get amazing digital cameras that are designed specifically for kids. Last I checked, for $60, one came with a screen and the photos could be downloaded to your computer. Of course, if a $60 gift seems too extravagant, the creation of a toy camera could make a fine craft project (Kleenex box) as the due date approaches.

Want Rustin's solution for your child's challenging behavior? Post a question at MinnMoms Connect.

Read last week's problem and solution in the MinnMoms.com Expert Advice archive. Who is Rustin Wolfe? Education: Rustin Wolfe is an Associate Professor in the Doctor of Education in Leadership program at St. Mary's University of Minnesota. He received his Ph.D. and M.A. in Psychology from the University of Chicago, where he worked under Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, author of "Flow" and "Creativity." Rustin received his B.A. from the University of Wisconsin - Madison, with a major in Sociology and an individual major titled "Divergent Thought and Behavior." Rustin is a certified facilitator in Creative Problem Solving.

Childcare experience: As an undergraduate, Rustin worked as the lead teacher of a before/after school program. He has coached children of elementary age through college.

A month after he began working in daycare, Rustin knew something had to change or he'd burn out. The bad behavior was getting to him. Despite his good intentions, the kids kept breaking the rules. And he came to dread discipline. So, that's precisely what he changed. Rustin decided to let go of the traditional time-out in favor of more creative punishments. He figured out how to - in a twisted sort of way - look forward to the next opportunity to come up with a novel consequence.

Rustin set up rules: the punishment had to be a logical consequence, it should try to undo the wrong that had been done, it should prioritize the facilitation of future behavior over punishing past behavior, and it shouldn't be intentionally boring.

Philosophy: Time-outs are for when we can't think of anything better. Every moment is a learning opportunity. Rustin challenges parents and caregivers - himself included - to ask themselves: How can we take advantage of the opportunities before us when a child misbehaves?