Yes, punishments can be fun.
Creativity expert, professor, father and former daycare provider Rustin Wolfe applies his scientific techniques to some of life's smallest - but most exasperating - problems every Tuesday at MinnMoms.com.
Here's one of his creative solutions:
Tattle battle
Question: How can I get my 6-year-old to stop tattling on her 4-year-old sister, and how can I get my 4-year-old to stop annoying the 6-year-old?
Behavior: Kids running to parents instead of resolving their own conflict.
Problem: They need to learn to be independent eventually.
Solution: It's never too early to start teaching problem solving. And it's fun.
Activity: With both children present, facilitate some problem solving with the tattler. Help her see other options. One way to turn it into a game is to suggest solutions that are so terrible that they're funny. The crazier, the better. For example, "next time, try spinning in circles until she stops bugging you." The child will correct you and explain why your terrible solution won't work. This will lead to a discussion of what might be a better solution. Meanwhile, the instigator is not receiving any attention for her negative behavior, and
Want Rustin's solution for your child's challenging behavior? Post a question at MinnMoms Connect.
Read last week's problem and solution in the MinnMoms.com Expert Advice archive. Who is Rustin Wolfe? Education: Rustin Wolfe is an Associate Professor in the Doctor of Education in Leadership program at St. Mary's University of Minnesota. He received his Ph.D. and M.A. in Psychology from the University of Chicago, where he worked under Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, author of "Flow" and "Creativity." Rustin received his B.A. from the University of Wisconsin - Madison, with a major in Sociology and an individual major titled "Divergent Thought and Behavior." Rustin is a certified facilitator in Creative Problem Solving.
Childcare experience: As an undergraduate, Rustin worked as the lead teacher of a before/after school program. He has coached children of elementary age through college.
A month after he began working in daycare, Rustin knew something had to change or he'd burn out. The bad behavior was getting to him. Despite his good intentions, the kids kept breaking the rules. And he came to dread discipline. So, that's precisely what he changed. Rustin decided to let go of the traditional time-out in favor of more creative punishments. He figured out how to - in a twisted sort of way - look forward to the next opportunity to come up with a novel consequence.
Rustin set up rules: the punishment had to be a logical consequence, it should try to undo the wrong that had been done, it should prioritize the facilitation of future behavior over punishing past behavior, and it shouldn't be intentionally boring.
Philosophy: Time-outs are for when we can't think of anything better. Every moment is a learning opportunity. Rustin challenges parents and caregivers - himself included - to ask themselves: How can we take advantage of the opportunities before us when a child misbehaves?



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